Dark Girls Rise! (P2)
07/07/2013
Part 2:
The media is only adding fuel to the fire by sending out
subliminal, psychological messages to women all over the globe to try and
attain superficial, unrealistic beauty.
Encouragement goes a long way to build
someone’s esteem.
Here are some keywords to
live by: Don’t allow anyone to define
who you are!
***For
more information and references to other books and resources, check out this
book titled “Brainwashed: Challenging the
Myth of Black Inferiority” by Tom Burrell.
Part 2:
There was a segment within the Documentary called Men: on Women. It was basically the
Black man’s perspective on dating Black women. Now this was interesting!
One light-skinned guy stated that he didn’t like
dark-skinned women because they looked funny next to him. I thought to myself, really dude? That’s the answer you’re going
to go with? That’s your justification for NOT dating a dark-skinned woman?
That only proves my point that most men are shallow-minded when it comes to
women. In this case, all the guy seemed to care about were a woman’s outward
appearance. For people who think like this are only limiting themselves, and
could be missing out on a lifetime partner.
Dark Girls, the
Documentary, also mentioned the affect media has on the portrayal or perception
of Black women. No one in the media is teaching young men how to value a woman
despite her light or dark skin.
I think it all boils down to a person’s preference when
it comes to dating. I think it’s okay
for a man to have his own preference, only if his reasoning behind the
preference doesn’t discriminate against his own race by emotionally or
psychologically tearing down the woman of his own race. Simply put, no one
should use their past love experiences to try and justify putting everyone else
in that same category. Not all Black women are bitches, hoes, gold-digging,
ratchet, lying, conniving, or scheming.
Hmmm…ironically, the light-skinned dudes in the
documentary preferred light-skinned girls, and the dark-skinned dudes preferred
dark-skinned girls. Sadly, the Willie
Lynch effect is still working. Colorism is still working. Colonization is
still working in full effect this day in time.
Here are a few stigmas, mentioned in the documentary,
associated with dark-skinned girls:
They’re ghetto or have low self-esteem; whereas
light-skinned girls have higher self-esteem because they feel special or
because their skin color is closer to white.
This is a bunch of Bulls%@...
I know some light-skinned girls who are or were ghetto as
hell, loud, messy, or had low self-esteem. Stereotypes like these get on my
nerves, because life changing events don’t discriminate! Sometimes people go
through rough patches in their life, which ultimately changes their perception
and/or behavior.
Here’s another statistical fact listed within the
documentary:
“41.9% of Black women in America have never been married,
while only 20.7% of White women have never been married.”
Wow! This is really sad. And some people wonder why Black
women give up on hopes of getting married. It’s because of numbers like
this. Statistical data such as this is
the number one reason why I chose to start writing a book to try and get Black
women to not give up hope on finding love.
I don’t want other Black women to look at these numbers and get
discouraged, but rather use it as a challenging tool. Use it as motivation to
overturn or change the statistics! This goes for men as well.
In the Documentary, there was a dark-skinned Mississippi
woman who thought she would never find a husband to really appreciate her
without abusing her, so in high school she became a mean girl.
Then there was an older Black woman who spoke of her
Cancun, Mexico experience. She stated that the men over there absolutely adored
her skin, yet her own people didn’t see beauty in her. I know what she means, as I had that same
experience in Mexico when I took a cruise back in 2004. The Mexican men were
flirting their butts off. One of them
actually called himself being slick by snapping a photo of my boobs underwater;
mind you the photo was taken with my own camera. So, I didn’t notice it until I
got home and had the photos developed.
Another Black woman from the Documentary stated that
White men seemed to revere the Black woman, whereas the Black man seemed to
have more of a maternal reverence than a goddess reverence towards Black women,
which is just another example of the effects of the Willie Lynch Letter.
I truly believe that most Black women prefer to marry
within their race, but because of the world we live in now, and all the stigmas
or negative stereotypes of Black women, it gets harder and harder.
Dr. Grills stated, “Over time, there’s been an
internalization of the degradation of what it means to be Black in the world”.
This very same thing is happening in other countries,
global internalized racism, whereas sistahs are trying to bleach themselves to
look lighter or prettier. This is
occurring in countries such as Dominican Republic, Korea, Thailand, Cuba, and
Panama. Mainly because Western culture
has spread over to other countries and cultures, causing women to want to be
more like American or European women. In
a sense, this is a form of Psychological Conditioning. As more and more American or European movies
are shown in other countries, more and more women of these other cultures want
to emulate what they see on the movie screen; which reminds me of Pavlov’s
Classical Conditioning or learned behavior.
Here is the link to Ivan Pavlov’s
Classical Conditioning:
It’s rather ironic how times have somewhat changed. There
once was a time when White people wanted nothing to do with Black people, thus the
Civil War era. Now, many White people enjoy tanning. They’re trying to obtain
something that we’ve already been created with…darker skin pigmentation. The script has been flipped. More and more White women are tanning now,
while more Black women are trying to lighten their skin.
Personally, I don’t agree with skin bleaching or
lightening…unless you’re using lightening agents to correct blemishes in your
skin such as acne or dark spots, in order to even out your skin tone. I say,
and encourage everyone to be proud of who you are! God created you, why change
it?
Another thing regarding the media and the images they
portray…Please know that money is behind many images being portrayed. There are corporations that pay top dollar to
portray Black men and women in such a negative way.
While watching the Documentary, I have truly enjoyed
listening to Dr. Grills’ perspective on the issue with society as a whole and
its role in colorism or negative stereotypes of Black people. Here’s an African proverb that she quoted:
“Until the lion has a historian, the hunter will always
be a hero.”
I found her interpretation of this quote to be rather
profound, yet enlightening and very true.
She broke it down into simpler terms, and I quote…
“Unless we’re able to understand and articulate the issue
from multiple points of views, INCLUDING from the point of view of those who
are the recipients or on the receiving end of this oppressive, degrading image
that has been created over generations for Black people, then we’re only going
to continue to perpetuate the stereotypes.”
In other words, we need to literally sit down and have an
open dialogue about these issues and stop feeding into the stereotypes. Change has to start somewhere. Why not start with a simple, honest conversation
about our feelings, thoughts, and views? Maybe then, we’ll all have a better
understanding of one another. The
keyword in what she said that stood out to me was “articulate”. How many people
DON’T know how to articulate or express in detail their true feelings, hurt,
and pain? Until we get pass the pride and/or shamefulness or embarrassment, we
won’t ever see any real changes. Say
want you need to say in order to get it off your chest and allow the healing
process to begin! Taraji Henson said it best
in Tyler Perry’s movie I Can Do Bad All
By Myself, “Nothing ever gets healed if you keep it covered up”. It’s time for us as a people to uncover our
wounds and confront issues head on!
There was a Journalist by the name of Soren Baker who
also contributed to the Documentary. He stated that rappers were being hypocritical
when having Black pride, yet turn around and portray fair-skinned or non-Black
women in their videos. He asked the same
question as many others have asked at one time or another: “What message are
they sending to Black girls?”
Dr. Grills went on further to mention Structural Racism,
which are the kinds of policies and practices we have in place that perpetuate
colorism. Some examples would include
the media, advertising, movies, etc… Society is perpetuating it.
I agree to a certain extent. If more and more Black
people were to stop feeding into the negative, stereotypical media outlets,
then maybe we’d see serious change.
Imagine the huge impact the media would have if we as African-Americans
would stop watching the negative shows or buying the negative music. The revenue of various corporations would
greatly plummet! Hit them where it hurts…their pockets, their money!
Of course with all this talk of colorism, racism, and stereotypes,
y’all know there had to be a flip side.
Yes, the Healing. When and how does it begin?
Change starts with Self-Consciousness. Look in the
mirror!
Dr. Grills said it best, “We need to understand our
history, the pain, the trauma, the damage, our values and resiliency that’s
helped us survive against the odds and helped us maintain our humanity in the
face of massive inhumanity”.
Sometimes all it takes is for the right person to
encourage you to embrace your skin, your beauty.
Tip:
Validation should start at home with
parents, siblings, & family.
Here are a few words an
older Black woman had to contribute to the Documentary:
Mothers
should teach their daughters to love who they are, where they came from, and
that they’re beautiful.
When you
acknowledge who you are, you can begin to accept yourself.
Dr. Grills also said, “If
you don’t treat YOU right, then how do you expect anyone else to?”
“Loving yourself is not
racism. Loving yourself is race pride.” – Michael Colyer, Comedian
A pretty, young,
light-skinned woman with beautiful dreadlocks referenced the lyrics from India
Arie’s song…”You’re not your hair. You’re
not your skin. You are the soul that lives within.”
If we can all remember or
truly believe in those words, then we’d definitely be on our way to becoming healthier,
more balanced human beings.
If God made us in His
image, then who are we to hate our image? He doesn’t make mistakes, so why
should we look at ourselves and think such awful things?
I remember when I was
going through the low self-esteem phase in my life, and the most important
Bible scripture changed all of those thoughts:
“For you did
form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will
confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful
wonder of my birth! Wonderful are your works, and that my inner self knows
right well.”
–
Psalm 139:13-14 (The Everyday Life Bible)
There were times when I
had to look in the mirror and encourage myself.
Yes, we all have flaws that we may not like; but sometimes you just have
to strip down to nothing, stare at every inch of your body in the mirror and
embrace what God created, embrace your beauty…even your flaws. They’re what
make you, YOU.
I truly believe that
self-analyzing is a MUST in order for one to grow in several areas of life. In
doing so, it allows us to make necessary improvements that are based on our own
observations, not from other people’s perceptions or misconceptions of who we
are. Always remember this…
We can only change our own
images or behaviors. We do not have control over other people’s ignorance or
expectations. Be Happy with yourself first and foremost!
***The
Documentary ended with the little Dark Girl saying, “My Mommy and Daddy say I’m beautiful”.
***It faded
out with multiple voices chanting…
Rise Dark Girls!
Dark Girls Rise!
********************
These are a few
organizations working together to build a movement to overturn the myth of
Black Inferiority:
The Association of Black
Psychologists (www.abpsi.org)
Community Healing Network,
Inc. (www.CommunityHealingNet.com)
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